he Snow GlobeMandy covered her ears as her parents shouted angry words at one another for the second time that morning. She wished they wouldn’t fight and talk about divorce anymore. If she could just get their attention perhaps things would change. Mandy knew that she had to think of something soon if things were going to get better before Christmas.
“Gran’s coming,” Mandy said.
Her spoon made a clatter as she abandoned her bowl of Cheerios and jumped down from the breakfast table. She pushed past them and her father’s hand slapped through the air close to Mandy’s ear as she ran to open the front door.
“Gran, you’re here.”
Mandy flung her scrawny arms around her grandmother, pressing her body close like a limpet clinging to a rock.
“Better get your coat on, Amanda,” Grandma Parker said. “We want to get to the mall before the crowds get too bad.”
Mandy sped up the stairs like a whirlwind.
Gran called after her, “Better hurry! Santa’ll be waiting for you.”
“You’re not taking her to see Santa, mom! For heaven’s sake, stop encouraging her to be a baby!” From the top of the stairs Mandy heard her father’s orders. “She’s eight years old. She should be over all that nonsense. Santa-flipping-Claus won’t be visiting this year, that’s for sure, there’s no money for it.”
Mandy came half way down the stairs, watching and listening, waiting for the tirade to finish.
“Here you are, Amanda. You were fast,” Gran said. “We’ll be on our way, then. Say goodbye to mom and dad, there’s a good girl.”
“Goodbye, mom,” Mandy said, kissing her on the cheek. “Goodbye, dad.”
“What’s wrong with me? Don’t I get a kiss?”
“Sorry, dad,” Mandy went back and kissed him. “Love you, dad.”
“That’s better.”
Amanda Parker smiled over at her grandmother as the car backed out of the driveway. She had a whole day of fun ahead of her and as they got closer to the mall, she stopped holding herself like someone wearing a straight jacket. She began to breathe without effort. It was as if a heavy stone had been lifted out of her chest and been replaced by a balloon full of helium.
“Are we really going to see Santa Claus, Gran?” Mandy asked.
“More than see him! You’re going right up to him and tell him what you want for Christmas.”
“But dad says I’m too old for that now.”
“We’ll just have to keep it a secret then, won’t we? A secret between you, me and Santa Claus.”
“Are we going to see the real Santa Claus or a pretend one?” Mandy asked.
“Oh, this is the real Santa Claus; no doubt about that.”
“Then, I can ask him for anything and he can make it happen?”
“He sure can, Amanda,” Gran said. “All you have to do is believe.”
Without stopping at any of the stores, they walked to Santa Claus’ castle on the ground floor of the mall and took their place in line. Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Father Christmas, Mandy had heard him called by all those names, sat enthroned on a seat of gold in white-bearded, red-robed splendour. Fairies and elves, dressed in forest green, surrounded him to do his bidding. His castle rose up past the second floor balcony and its turrets reached as high as the third level where angels, holding harps and trumpets, sat on hanging clouds.
All this Mandy saw as she waited for her turn to speak to Santa. It didn’t matter to her that most of the children were no older than six years of age, she had something important to ask Santa and nothing would stop her.
“Hello, Amanda,” Santa said.
Any lingering doubts that he was genuine disappeared as he called her by name, her real name. The only other person who called her Amanda was her grandmother.
His blue eyes, the colour of the sky on a clear day, looked into her own and deep into her soul. She could feel his voice speaking through the beat of her heart and the breath of her lungs. No actual words were exchanged after the first speaking of her name, but all her desires were made known to him.
When all was told, Santa reached into his sack and brought out a snow globe.
She took the globe with reverence, got down off Santa’s knee and followed one of the elves off the stage to where her grandmother waited. Amanda saw Gran’s eyes fill with tears when she looked at Santa’s gift.
“You’ll be safe now,” she said. “You’ll always have somewhere to go if things get too bad.”
Inside the glass ball stood Santa’s house and through its windows Mandy could see him seated in a rocking chair by the fire and Mrs. Claus opposite. In front of the fire was an empty chair and Mandy knew it was hers and that she could sit there whenever she wished. Saint Nicholas, protector of children, had given her a place of sanctuary. Holding the globe level with her eyes, Mandy shook it hard and the snow came down on the little house.
She hugged the globe to her chest all the rest of the day at the mall, only putting it down on the table while she ate her lunch. Even then, she put her hand on top of it to protect it from people walking by.
For the rest of the day they window-shopped, and looked at all the Christmas decorations. Mandy would have liked this special time to continue forever, but as it approached four o’clock, she knew that they had to go home soon.
“What’ll I do if they ask me where I got this, Gran?” Mandy asked.
“Just say I gave you your Christmas present early.”
Mandy knew that Gran was hoping that her parents wouldn’t even notice that she had something new.
They had spent the last two years trying to cover for one another. Mandy knew the drill of keeping secrets and was very good at it, but the thought of another round of deception brought the heavy stone back into her chest. She held her new present in such a tight grip, she was afraid that it might break from the pressure building inside her.
Grandma Parker stayed in the car while Mandy went up the path to let herself in the front door. Like lots of other children at school, she was a “latchkey kid” and kept the house key on a string around her neck. She unlocked the door, turned around and waved, and watched Gran drive away. Mandy shut the door with as little sound as possible.
She didn’t know whether her parents were home or not, whether they were drunk or not, whether her mother was at the emergency or not. Mandy did know that she wanted to get up the stairs and into her room without disturbing them if they were home. This magic globe was something she didn’t want to explain to them for fear one of them would snatch it from her and throw it against the wall, breaking her dreams and her refuge.
Mandy set her gift on her bedside table and sat on top of her bed. She gazed at the globe and tried not to blink. She gazed at it with such intent that she fell asleep and dreamt that she was in the rocking chair in front of the fireplace with Mr. and Mrs. Claus on either side of her.
She woke with a trembling when she heard the front door slam. Her parents’ loud voices and punches started soon after. Then they rushed upstairs and crashed through Mandy’s bedroom door and into her room. Her mother knocked against the table and the snow-globe started to fall. Mandy reached out to save it. As if she were a ghost, she passed through the glass ball into a faint dampness that felt like a soap bubble. She landed on her feet outside the snow globe house.
Snow swirled all around her but there was no wind just soft fluffy flakes landing on her nose and eyelids. Mandy lifted her hand to knock on the door but it opened of its own accord and she walked in. She was surrounded by warm peace. Santa and Mrs. Claus looked up and smiled in greeting. She went and took her place in the rocking chair that she knew was hers.
This was heaven.
Everything was miniature in this house, even smaller than the doll’s house she had once played with at a friend’s place. Yet Mandy was not too big to fit in her chair. She had shrunk under some magical spell but it all felt quite natural. She wasn’t afraid; quite the opposite, in fact; she felt safe. Her parents would never find her. She need never be scared anymore.
A noise like distant thunder reached her ears. Her world shook with no warning, snow tumbled outside the windows, and shadows fell across the room in dark bands. Santa seemed unconcerned and went on puffing his pipe while Mrs. Claus continued with her knit one, purl one.
If they’re not afraid, I don’t need to be either, Mandy thought.
She looked out the window from her place in front of the fire. She could see a face peering through the globe. It looked funny, like the face that stared back at her from the magic mirrors at the fall fair. The face that was outside the globe was her mother’s; Mandy could see that now. It changed shape as Mandy watched. First her cheeks were big and fat, next her face got long and narrow with her nose pinched and her eyes too close together.
Mandy laughed out loud at how ridiculous her mother looked.
In an instant, her mother threw the globe down and Mandy found herself tumbling all about. She wasn’t hurt and she picked herself up and sat down at the supper table where Mrs. Claus had set a place for her. She ate her meal, paying no attention to the storm that raged outside the globe. After supper, she settled into bed under a down comforter and slept the sleep of a happy child, undisturbed by her usual nightmares.
For Amanda, the next two weeks went along in busy harmony and joy. She spent her days helping Santa’s elves and fairies prepare for the Christmas Eve flight. She used red and green paint to put the finishing touches on the toys. She checked delivery lists and tried to match each child’s request with available toys and gifts. She couldn’t remember when she had laughed and sang so much.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked her to accompany him on his journey.
“Say goodbye to Mrs. Claus, Amanda, I’ll be dropping you off to see your parents.”
Amanda didn’t say anything to Santa but she was very sad at the thought of leaving this happy home.
“Goodbye, Mrs. Claus, thank you for a nice time.”
“Don’t worry, Amanda, while you’ve been helping in the workshop, Santa’s been putting things right in your family,” Mrs. Claus said. “Things will get better for you from now on, you’ll see.”
When Amanda was seated in the sleigh, on the seat behind Santa’s, Mrs. Claus wrapped her in a warm blanket.
“Merry Christmas, Amanda.”
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Claus.”
“It’s not Mrs. Claus, silly. It’s Gran.”
Amanda opened her eyes and blinked at the harsh, bright light. She lay on a narrow bed and Gran stood over her.
“What’s happening to me Gran? Where am I?”
“You’re in hospital, Amanda. You’ve been unconscious for two weeks. But you’ll be all right now.”
“Where’re mom and dad?”
“They’re talking to the doctor.”
Gran pointed to a glass partition and Amanda saw her mother and father talking to a man in a long white coat. He had a beard and looked a little like Santa Claus. Her parents looked worried and held one another’s hands.
“How did I get unconscious?”
“Mom knocked the snow globe off the bedside table and you tried to save it from breaking. You fell off the bed and hit your head on the corner of the table.”
“Are they mad at me?”
“They’re very worried about you, and they’ve realised they need to stop drinking.”
“What about the divorce?”
“I don’t think there’ll be a divorce now. They began to understand how much they need each other when they thought they might lose you. They’re taking counselling…”
“Mandy, you’ve woken up love,” her mother said.
“Merry Christmas, Mandy,” her father said.
“We’ve brought you your snow globe, Mandy.”
Her mother held the globe for her and she took it in her hands. Santa and Mrs. Claus sat in front of the fire and Mandy’s seat was still there waiting for her if she should ever need it again.
Mandy smiled up at her family.
“Merry Christmas, mom and dad,” she said, “Merry Christmas, Gran.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Amanda knew that Santa Claus had answered her wish and that this Christmas would indeed be a merry one. Her life was about to begin anew!
© Judith Lawrence 2007
